Love is such bitter sorrow
by Archaic
Summary: If you are emotional, make sure you have tissues nearby. I pull no punches. This is an Angst/Romance fic, and I'm sure you know what to expect from that.
1. Chapter Index & Authors Notes

Love is such bitter sorrow The following is an index of the saga "Love is such bitter sorrow." As it encompasses several different fanfic series, there are currently gaps in the timeline where I have not yet written, or finished writing, the chapter. Hopefully you won't be overly confused. Just wait a while and I'll get them all done. Eventually.  
  
I've ordered them chronologically, and put little sub headings for each of the mini series' that make up the fic. Parts with a (w) next to them have already been completed, and parts with a (p) next to them are in progress. You'll notice the gap between Parts 20 & 66 no doubt. That is intentional. Part 66 is not technically a part of this saga, yet it has been included for both the sake of completeness and to show you where it would fit in the timeline.  
  
(1) (w) All she has left to live for (a.k.a. The calm before the storm)  
  
There for you  
(2) (w) 1. What she wants (a.k.a. Ash's' unusual evening)  
(3) (w) 2. What she feels  
(4) (w) 3. What she needs  
(5) (w) 4. She's WHAT!?!  
(6) (p) 5. What she desires  
  
(7) (w) A nightmare repeated  
  
Moonlight through a stained glass mind  
(7b) (w) 1. A nightmare ending  
(8) 2. Loves sorrow  
(9) 3. A broken heart  
(10) 4. A life cut short  
(11) 5. A shattered soul  
(12) 6. Full moon  
(13) 7. Obvious Tactics  
(14) 8. Painful memories  
(15) 9. Dawn  
(16) 9. Hamlet  
  
(17) (w) For without you my life is without meaning  
  
(18) Farewells are forever  
  
(19) Fate of sorrows  
  
(20) Lemon Tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet. But the fruit of the poor lemon tree is impossible to eat.  
  
(66) Farewells are not forever (a.k.a. Meddling Shadows) (A Crossover with "The Bet", by Archaic & McWizardX, to be released soon (That's "The Bet" that's to be released soon, not this crossover.))  
  
  
Authors Notes:  
"Love is such bitter sorrow" is certainly a fic that is very different from most of what is available currently. It openly discusses themes which could be considered quite adult, and contains several scenes of a Citrus variety, abit scenes far different from what one would encounter in a Lemon or Lime work. This work is not for the immature, and therefore, not the average Pokémon fan. It is intended more for those who prefer to tread the often darker path of angst and drama. Of course, there's romance in this as well, but you can't have angst without a little romance now, can you?  
  
Work on this progresses rather slowly due to my concerns as Australian Correspondent for Bulbagarden and an Admin on their forums, as well as a Moderator on the Pokémasters forums, AS WELL as issues IRL. Nevertheless, I shall try and complete it as soon as possible.  
  
Please do not email me to request I write a new part and if you must flame me, try and make it a constructive criticism.  
  
Finally, I'd just like to give thanks to three people.  
  
Firstly, to McWizardX, the webmaster of Pokémon Romance 2000. He and I have talked often over the past 6 months since we met, and his help has been a boon to me with this, and with other works.  
  
Thanks also to Chuchino, who I'm sure many of you are better aquatinted with than I am. You're a legend among PokéShippers, and the best debater on AAML that I have ever known.  
  
Finally, thanks go out to Ace Sanchez, wherever he is now. His work "Pokémon Master", was what provided my initial inspiration for fanfiction, and his works are considered by some to be the best Pokémon fanfiction ever written. No wonder he's Australian as well. :) Seriously, it's his works that have given me the will to go on. I don't wish to end up as he has, with an unfinished work and forgotten by the majority of fans. 


	2. Part 1: All she has left to live for

Love is such bitter sorrow 

"All she has left to live for."  
(Also known as "The Calm before the storm" [If you want to know why, it'll be in my Authors notes for this series, once I get around to doing them])

Part 1 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."

She couldn't even bear to look the small stone tablet in front of her. She didn't want to accept the truth. That what had happened had indeed happened. She felt a hand on her shoulder, heard a voice saying what were meant to be comforting words, but she didn't acknowledge them. To everyone else there, she may as well have been dead herself. No matter what they did, she just sat there, with her head bowed, silent and unmoving. They could well understand her sorrow. They had all been affected by the tragedy to some degree. How could they not be? No one likes to lose a friend.

"Misty, I...."  
Ash feels a hand on his shoulder. Turning, he sees Brock shaking his head, with a grim expression set on his face.  
"Let her grieve Ash. Right now, she probably feels like that's all she has left."  
There is a brief commotion among the others there. Turning back, they could see Misty has raised her head.

She could read now the words engraved into the stone. Though she didn't want to, she forced herself to read them.  
Togepi  
1997-2001  
Your stay among us was but short. Your time came before it was meant.

Fresh tears streamed down her already wet cheeks. Her face fell and the sobbing began anew.

"Nurse Joy, are you sure my Togepi will be alright?"  
"Of course I'm sure. It just has a little cold, that's all. It should be alright in just a few days."  
"HOW DARE YOU QUESTION SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT WOMAN SUCH AS NURSE!......"  
"SHUT UP BROCK!" yell Ash & Misty in unison.  
"PIKA PIKA......CHUUUUUUUUU!"  
Simultaneous screams of "Owowwwwwwwwwwowowowowowowowowowowow!" are released by all in the general vicinity.  
Looking rather like a piece of toast, or rather, a burnt piece of toast, Ash whimpers "Next time Pikachu, can you just shock Brock and not all of us?"  
"Pika pika." replies Pikachu, with an embarrassed look on its face and a laugh in its mind. 

"Yes folks, it sounds like a normal day in the lives of our three heroes."

"A...AAHHH.......AAAAHHHHHHHHHHCCCCHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!"

"Well, perhaps not quite so normal...."

The title screen pops up and one can hear all the main characters shout "All she has left to live for!" before they start talking to each other in wonderment and worry. The title screen is quickly replaced by a man sitting at a desk with a mic and script in front of him. The narrator.

"Hey, what sort of title is that!? What's this episode about anyway!"  
Flicking through the script and authors notes in front of him, he answers his own question.  
"What the ****! Alright, that's it, I quit! I'm not going to narrate any fanfic series that's going to end up kMMPPHHHH!"  
A strange man clad in black with a cloak of darkest green has moved up undetected behind the narrator, and now holds his hand over the narrators' mouth.  
"Heh heh heh. I wouldn't want to spoil any surprises for you all. Let's get back on track shall we?"  
With that business concluded, the screen resumes its focus on the characters.

As they walked down the road, Misty couldn't help but have a worried look on her face. It certainly seemed worse than a cold to her.  
"Well that got us nowhere."  
Brock turned his head to her. "Don't complain Misty, at least we know it isn't something worse now, don't we."  
"Yeah, Brock's right Misty. Don't worry about it. Nurse Joy said Togepi would be alright, didn't she."  
"Well, I guess...."  
"ACHOO!"  
Misty takes a tissue from her pocket and wipes Togepi's nose, which is all red from repeated sneezing.  
"I wish Nurse Joy could have given us some PokéPanadol or something. Togepi just seems to be getting worse and worse."  
As usual, Brock races to the defence of his "perfect girl". "Well it's not like it's her fault she was all out now, is it? Considering the amount of trainers who've passed through here in the last few days, it's a surprise she was able to spare us the tissues."  
Misty sighs. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I just hope that the next town's Pokécentre won't be so understocked. Where are we going anyway?"  
"Back to Pallet Town! It's been ages since I was last home. I wonder how my Mum & Professor Oak are doing..."  
"ACHOO!"  
Misty sighs again. "Oh Togepi..."  
She again wipes Togepi's nose, after which it gives out a few sniffles. "Is there even a Pokécentre in Pallet yet?"  
"No, not yet I don't think." Brock replies. "Don't worry though, Professor Oak should be able to give it something. We could always take a side trip to the Pokécentre in Viridian on our way if we had to."  
"Oh, not more walking." She turns to face Ash. "I wouldn't have to be walking if it wasn't for you!"  
"Oh brother, here we go again..."  
"Hey, I said I'd pay you back for it didn't I?"  
"Well I haven't seen any money yet! You would think that after all you've somehow managed to do that you would have saved up enough to pay me back by now!"  
"Excuse me, but all that money is what goes into feeding you! If you didn't pig out on desserts so much whenever we stopped for a meal!..."  
"WHAT!!!!"  
"And besides, you wouldn't even have Togepi if you hadn't started following me around. Are you saying you'd rather I had Togepi instead?"  
"Stop twisting my words! You know that I would never!...."  
"Hey now you two, stop fighting already. It's going to start getting dark soon and I'm not setting up camp all by myself, not if you expect to eat tonight !"  
Both Ash & Misty looked around, seeing that the sun was indeed setting. As usual, they had both lost track of time while engrossed in their argument. Under protest, they stop and started to unpack their things, glaring at each other.

Hours passed without any incident. Not a word was spoken between either Ash or Misty while the camp was being set up, or during dinner. During the whole time, Togepi continued to sneeze, becoming even more miserable as time passed, just as Misty became more and more worried for it.  
"ACHOO !"  
"Oh Togepi.... I wish I could do something to make you feel better."  
Togepi managed a weak "Toge." before it not so weaked sneased again with a loud "A..A..A...ACHOO!"  
Misty wipes Togepi's nose, which is becoming redder by the minute.  
"Don't worry Togepi. Colds don't last that long. You'll be alright soon enough."  
Ash couldn't help staring at Misty while all this was happening. This was a side of Misty he didn't get to see that often. Whenever it did show, he couldn't help but thinking she looked cute. He just had to be careful not to let Misty see him staring at her like this. If she did, it would probably be the last time he saw anything, let alone her compassionate side.  
Ash was broken out of his reverie by Brock walking up behind him. He turned to face his friend with a blush and a guilty look on his face. "Well, well, well... What do we have here?"  
"Um...well....you see......it's like...."  
"I wonder what Misty would think about this....."  
"Think about what Brock?"  
Both Ash & Brock jumped at the sound of Misty's voice, before Brock looked up with a cheeky look on his face.  
"Just..."  
Ash's hand shot up and covered Brock's mouth.  
"AsMMMMMMPPHHHH..."  
"NOTHING, NOTHING!"  
Brock grabbed Ash's hand and freed his mouth.  
"Nothing my foot! Ash.."  
Ash quickly whispered "Professor Ivy" into Brock's ear, which gave the desired results. Brock curled up into a ball on the ground, mumbling to himself "Don't mention that name." Misty in the meanwhile had lost interest in the two as she answered the call of another of Togepi's sneezes. Ash wiped his brow of the sweat that had formed from the close call, and went back to watching Misty.

With the exception of Brock, still lying on the ground curled up into a ball, who Ash just threw a blanket over, they all went to sleep soon after. Their sleeps were restless, with them all being awoken more than a few times within the first hour by Togepi sneezing. The sneezing did stop though, and they all fell into much needed slumber.

The next morning, Misty was the first to wake up, and she did that with a load "Yawn!"  
Turning over on her side, she could see that Togepi was still curled up into its shell.  
"Morning Togepi. Feeling any better?"  
Togepi didn't respond.  
"He must be tired. I can't blame him, not after all we've been through recently. I may as well let him sleep in. The best cure for a cold minus Chicken Soup IS bedrest after all."  
She moved to stroke Togepi's face, but her hand shot back after only a slight touch. Togepi was cold. Deathly cold.  
"Togepi! Togepi, wake up!"  
She started to try and shake it awake, but to no avail. Togepi made no motion other than the rocking caused by Misty shaking it. By now, tears were streaming down Misty's cheeks as she realised the enormity of the situation. Her frantic screams had awoken the others, and they now surrounded the crumpled form of Misty as she sobbed next to the still, silent form of Togepi. They too tried to revive Togepi, Ash showing that he indeed did have a brain in there somewhere when he tried to use CPR. Their efforts did nothing, for there was nothing they could do. Silently, they all sat down next to Misty, their faces showing their anguish & shock. Ash put his hand on Misty's shoulder and squeezed. She turned her face up, then suddenly threw herself onto Ash's shoulder, crying. Almost by reflex, Ash's arms enfolded Misty into a tight embrace, before he too layed his head on her shoulder and wept. Within moments, Brock surrounded them with his arms and they lent on him, while Pikachu climbed onto Misty herself and gave her the best hug he could considering his short arms. By the time they all separated, they were all soaked from their tears. None of them could believe this had happened. None of them wanted to believe.

The hill was bare now but for four things. The gravestone of Togepi, their dear friend and companion, a small oak tree, before which the grave stood, and two people. Misty, still grieving by Togepi's final resting place, and Ash, who had refused to leave his friend to morn alone. Slowly, he walked up to her and knelt down, before starting to speak to her in a soft voice. It took him more than a few goes, but he finally managed to get out what he was trying to say.  
"Misty, I know you must be feeling like there is nothing left for you now but to morn for Togepi. We all feel like that. I just want you to know, that I'm here for you if you need me. I'll always be here for you Misty."  
Misty didn't move, nor did she say a word. If she had ignored him, or simply hadn't heard, Ash did not know. All he did know was that he would keep his promise, and when Misty did finally leave the grave, Ash was still there, waiting for her.


	3. Part 2: What she wants (a.k.a. Ash's Unu...

Love is such bitter sorrow "What she wants."  
(Also known as "Ash's unusual evening." [Yes, that IS a reference to all those "Unusual Morning" stories people have made. If you got the joke there, you have been warned.])  
  
Part 1 of the 5 part mini-series "There for you."  
  
Part 2 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."   
  
She worried about him. What her son was doing, while noble, bordered on obsession. She had tried to explain to her son many times that Misty would be better off in the hands of a professional carer, but Ash would have nothing of it. He had made it his own responsibility to care for her, to dress her, carry her, feed her and bathe her, and he wasn't willing to give up those responsibilities.  
  
Ms. Ketchum looked out the window into the black night sky, and at the moon shining brightly up above.  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
But she already knew the answer. There was nothing she could do for him. Not until he wanted to be helped. And so she went back to washing up. There was nothing else she could do.  
  
He worried about them. He hadn't seen Ash or Misty for months, not since the funeral. He'd called a few times, but they hadn't talked to him, though Ms. Ketchum had told him about what was happening. But he refused to accept that. They had all gone through rough times while they still travelled together, and not once had any of them given in to despair. But then again, they had never had one of their closest friends die before. He'd taken it better than Ash or Misty had, mainly because it had happened to him before, when his Mother died, where he'd had to take care of his little brothers and sisters and be like a surrogate parent to them. It was sort of like that now he supposed. Ash and Misty were like a little brother and sister to him, and he'd been a big brother to them all the time while they were travelling. Misty had no parents, and a family that you could hardly call a family, and while Ash had a mother, he had never known his father. He'd been like a surrogate parent for them, and he couldn't help but be concerned for them.  
  
Brock looked out the window into the black night sky, and at the moon shining brightly up above.  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
But he already knew the answer. There was nothing he could do.  
"Waaaaaaah! My dress!"  
Well, nothing he could do for Ash and Misty anyway. But his little brothers and sisters,...  
"Now you know I'm no good at sewing. Ask Brock to help you."  
...and father, certainly be kept him busy.  
"Alright. I'll fix it up right after I've finished washing the dishes."  
And so he went back to washing up. There was nothing else he could do.  
  
He worried about them. Pika-pi and Pikachaa weren't the same. Not since what happened a few months back. Not since Pipipi died. Pika-pi never had time for him anymore. He never played with him, made food for him, or even used him in a battle. He hadn't battled anyone full stop. He, who had once been so set on becoming a Pokémon Master. Now, he couldn't care less for Pokémon. He spent every day watching over and caring for Pikachaa. Pikachaa. She refused to let go of her grief and continue to live a life quickly passing her by. Pikachu hoped that Pika-pi wouldn't be like that if he died. He'd want him to live his life and be happy, not to be like this. Not like Pikachaa.  
  
A tear rolled down his cheek as Pikachu looked out the window into the black night sky, and at the moon shining brightly above.  
"Pika Pika Pi Cha Pikachu Chu Pi Pikacha?"  
But he already knew the answer. There was nothing he could do for them. Not until they wanted to be helped. And so he went back to sleep. There was nothing else he could do.  
  
He worried about her. She just hasn't been the same. Not since what happened a few months back. Not since Togepi died. Misty seemed incapable now of relating to anyone. She passed her days just lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling with unblinking eyes, and cried herself to sleep every night. She had to be physically carried downstairs at mealtime's and forcefed. She never resisted, but it was if her body had gone limp. As if she had lost the will to live. There was nothing he could do for her. Until Misty herself wanted to be helped, no one would be able to help her.  
  
Ash took one final look outside before he closed the curtains and got into bed.  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
Closing his eyes, he settled down to get some well deserved sleep.  
  
Ash didn't know how long he'd been asleep when he was woke up to the sound of a door opening. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. As he opened sleepy eyes, he saw light. Artificial light, not the soft light of dawn, was streaming in from the hallway, through the open door to his room. Against this backdrop of light was a silhouette of a person, who entered the room and closed the door behind them, plunging the room into darkness once more. Ash froze in place, trying to not show he was awake. Who was this? A thief, creeping in, in the dead of the night? He could feel the quilt being lifted up on the other side of the bed, before there was a thump sound beside him, and the quilt settled back into place. He could feel someone up against him, a face buried into his back. And.......tears?  
"Misty?"  
He rolled over to be confronted by the image of Misty, a goddess on earth. Her red hair was unbound and cascading down her slender shoulders. Her face was the image of perfection. Her small nose, cute and dainty. Her lips, warm, red and inviting. Her blue eyes.... red and puffy, large and full of tears. Tears that were streaming down her cheeks and onto his sheets and pillow. No words escaped her mouth. Only sobs. She looked up into his eyes, then threw herself onto his shoulder. Almost by instinct, almost by reflex, Ash wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him, stroking her hair and whispering consoling words. Minutes passed, and still the sobbing continued. It was the last thing either of them heard before they went to sleep, there in each others arms.  
  
She worried about them. She'd woken up the day before and not found either Ash or Misty downstairs. Usually, they'd already be down there, with Ash feeding her. Sometimes they might be finished before she came down, but there wasn't anyone in the bathroom. Ash couldn't be sleeping in. He used to, but that was long ago, long before what happened. These days, he'd be up with the break of dawn, eating breakfast and getting ready for when Misty woke up. She went up to his room, and opened his door. She wasn't prepared for the sight she saw. Ash and Misty were lying there, sleeping in each others arms. Misty, for the first time in months, with what appeared to be a smile on her face. How could he take advantage of her like this? Then she saw. He hadn't. They were both still in their bedclothes and there were none of the telltale smells present. They hadn't done anything but sleep together. Quietly, she left the room, not wanting to disturb them. Let them have a moment of peace she thought to herself. They deserve that at least.  
  
This turn of events continued as almost a nightly ritual for the next few months. Every night, Misty would leave her bed, and make the short walk down the corridor to Ash's room, where she would get in bed with him, bury her face in his shoulder and cry while Ash held her in his arms. Every morning, for the first month at least, Ms. Ketchum would check up on them, to make sure that they hadn't done anything that they shouldn't be. After then, she stopped checking up on them, satisfied that they wouldn't be doing anything of the sort anytime soon. She shouldn't have been so trusting, for such is the nature of both the young, and people in such great pain that they will seek refuge from their sorrows in the arms of another, and such did Misty do.  
  
He worried about her. She just hasn't been the same. Not since what happened late last year. Not since Togepi died. Misty seemed almost incapable of relating to anyone. There hadn't been much progress with her. They'd gone to a doctor a few months ago, at his mothers instance. The doctor had wanted to put her on Prozac, but after they refused he instead put her on a course of something called Fluoxetine. Whatever that was, Ash certainly didn't know. Some anti-depressant he supposed. Personally, Ash thought the guy was a quack. If what he had gave Misty was helping, it didn't show. She still passed her days just lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling with unblinking eyes, and crying herself to sleep every night. She still had to be physically carried downstairs at mealtime's and fed by someone. She either couldn't or more probably wouldn't chew or swallow for herself, and it took a long time to feed her the most basic of meals. She still doesn't actively resist, more like passively resist, as her body went totally limp. It had been as if she had lost the will to live. But now he wasn't so sure. She'd shown that she was still able to walk, and that was an achievement, and an amazement, for she hadn't moved under her own power for many months. She'd done no exercise and eaten only a bare minimum of food, food that had to be forced into her by Ash because of her refusal to eat for herself. He hated having to do it. While he knew Misty needed to eat, he also knew that it was hurting Misty, both because she didn't want to eat it, because she didn't want to live, and because her throat lay largely unused due to her self imposed silence. And while she still didn't talk...... it was as if she had finally made a choice. But what choice? Who was he kidding, there was nothing he could do for her. Until Misty herself wanted to be helped, no one would be able to help her. But maybe........  
  
Ash took one final look outside before he closed the curtains, got into bed and closed his eyes. Misty would be coming in only a few minutes.  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
He already knew the answer. He would do exactly what he'd been doing every night for the past few months. There was nothing else he could do.  
  
He heard the door open and close and he knew that Misty had come to join him again. With his eyes still shut, he felt the quilt being lifted up, a thump sound beside him, and the quilt settling back into place. The familiar form of Misty snuggled up against him, as she buried her face into the crook of his arm. Wait a sec...... Snuggled? He opened his eyes in time to see her arm go around him. She'd never done this before! He looked down, to find her already looking up at him. He couldn't see her clearly in the dim light, but what he saw shocked him. Her eyes weren't red and puffy, but that wasn't what shocked him. She wasn't crying, but that wasn't what shocked him either. It was the thin, sad smile on her lips. Her mouth moved, but if she said anything, Ash couldn't hear it. The arm she had layed over him now gripped his left shoulder, and she pulled herself up towards Ash's face. Slowly, softly, sweetly, their faces came together in a kiss.  
  
Ash didn't know what to do. He'd often dreamt of this moment. Not exactly like this of course, but still, he had dreamt of it. Those dreams didn't give him any idea of what to do next. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was taking advantage of Misty, that he shouldn't be doing this. But she had started it, hadn't she? Didn't that make it alright? Their kiss broke and both their heads moved slightly back from each other. Ash made his decision. This time, they kissed each other, instead of her kissing him. He didn't resist as Misty's hands started to roam, slowly unbuttoning his shirt and removing his clothing. Neither did she resist when he did the same. They broke off their kiss again, and Ash saw that Misty's smile had grown more noticeable. Lovingly and sweetly, they drew together for another kiss.  
  
They continued like this for several hours, their hands roaming over each others bodies, their kisses sweet and tender against each others lips. For Ash, it was like a drug. He lost all sense of time and place. Everything coalesced into the pleasure of the moment, and that was all he could concentrate on. That, and the kisses he shared with Misty. A slight pain brought him back to some measure of reality, and he found Misty now astride him, and he within her. It was the look in Misty's eyes that acted to sober Ash. Her eyes were empty. It was as if she had lost her soul and her body was now an empty husk, going through the motions. With that any pleasure he may have had from what they had just done was completely and utterly lost. As Misty settled to lay against his chest and fall asleep, with Ash still within her, Ash couldn't help but be horrified at his own actions. He had taken advantage of Misty. He vowed that he would never let something happen like that again, though he realised that his promise meant little. As far as he was concerned, the damage was already done. The fact that it had been her who had initiated their act never came into his mind, as he drifted off into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares fuelled by his own self-loathing.  
  
The next day, Ash continued to go through the motions of what he had done for almost a year, getting Misty dressed, feeding her and bathing her. Not once did he even consider telling his mother what happened. Indeed, he went to great lengths to prevent her from finding out, washing his sheets and quilt and airing out his room before his Mother had even woken up. He knew she wouldn't suspect anything from these actions, used as she was now to his new industrious nature as he cared for Misty. He also knew what would happen if his mother found out, and found that he couldn't even conceive of not being able to be with Misty, as would likely happen if his mother did discover what had happened. And so, when finally day turned into night, Ash knew what he had to do.  
  
He heard the door open and close and he knew that Misty had come to join him again. His eyes were open this time, and he sat up and watched as Misty walked towards the bed. As she stood beside it, she unfastened the buttons on her flimsy nightie and let them drop, standing naked before Ash. She them lifted the quilt, only to have her hand caught by Ash.  
"No Misty. We can't do this. It's not right."  
She looked at him, with the same vacant look as the night before, and then settled down in the bed beside Ash, starting to caress his chest with her free hand, which was swiftly caught by Ash.  
"MISTY. WE CAN'T DO THIS."  
She stared straight into his eyes, but the look in hers didn't change. Nevertheless, she wasn't struggling as she had been a moment ago, and Ash released her wrists. Moments later, she reached up to Ash's face and started to stroke it, before moving her face closer. Ash took hold of the hand stroking him and moved back from her.  
"MISTY, don't you understand? I can't do this. We shouldn't be doing this. It's not right....... I love you too much to hurt you again Misty."  
  
His response seemed to strike a chord in Misty, as the expression in her eyes immediately softened and lost a measure of the emptiness within it. A smile of contentment slowly crept onto her face, and she settled down to lay against Ash's chest and closed her eyes. A look of happiness was evident on her face, something that Ash had not seen in a long time. And with that look on her face, Misty drifted off into a restful sleep.  
  
Ash meanwhile stayed awake. He thoughts were on what had just happened. What had happened to effect this change in Misty? What had he done? He played the nights events over and over in his mind before he finally realised exactly what he had done. Three small words had made the difference. "I love you". When Misty had Togepi, Togepi had given her a kind of unconditional and total love. When he died, Misty must have felt as if there was no one who loved her anymore. But she was wrong. He loved her. He had finally admitted to her what he had felt for a long time. What he couldn't understand was why Misty had chosen him. If it had been Brock who had been taking care of her, would something like this have happened? Would this have happened if Togepi was still here today? Was he taking advantage of her, or was this something that was meant to happen?  
Ash....."  
He looked down at her, to saw that she was talking in her sleep. He smiled. She was talking, for the first time in almost a year, she was talking. He settled down next to her and held her like he had used to, and then he too drifted off into sleep.  
  
He still worried about them. But nowhere near as much as before. Pika-pi and Pikachaa weren't the same, and they could never be the same again. But Pikachu could accept that, and he was glad that his friends were getting on with their lives, and learning again what it was like to be happy. Pika-pi had time for him again. He might not play with him as much as he once used to, but then, he still spent much of each day watching over and caring for Pikachaa. Pikachaa. She had not let go of her grief, but it was no longer her sole reason for existence. The warm hugs she and Pika-pi shared when they thought no one was watching were evidence enough of that.  
  
A tear of happiness rolled down his cheek and a smile crept onto Pikachu's face as he looked up into the bright noonday sky, with the sun shining brightly above.  
"Pikachu Pika Cha Pi Pikacha Cha Pikachu Pika."  
"Bulbasaur Bulba? Saur Suar Bulbasuar."  
"Psy........duck."  
Pikachu turned to the others and saw that they had started a game of tag.  
"Pika!"  
And with that, he raced over to play with the others.  



	4. Part 3: What she feels

Love is such bitter sorrow "What she feels."  
  
Part 2 of the 5 part mini-series "There for you."  
  
Part 3 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."  
  
If you have not yet read "All she has left to live for", or "What she wants", the first and second parts of "Love is such bitter sorrow", go read them now. Unlike parts 1, 7 & 17, this cannot be read as a standalone, at least, not without missing out on necessary backstory.  
  
With her snuggled firmly against his side and in his arms, Ash and Misty, together with Pikachu, who was sitting on Ash's other shoulder, walked down the long corridor of the apartment building towards the current address of an old friend. It had been so long since they had last seen each him. They both couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him in the last few years. The last time they had seen each other was......well......a time that conjured up many painful memories. Togepi's funeral. Almost 3 years ago.  
"Well, here's the place. Hope that he's home." Ash said as they reached the apartment they were looking for.  
"Me too. The hotels around here certainly leave a lot to be desired." Pikachu nods sagely. "Pika."  
A mischievous grin creeps onto Misty's face.  
"Still,........ they do have SOME advantages, don't they Ashy boy."  
And with that, she pinches his butt. Not too lightly either I might add. In any case, her pinching his butt startles Ash, causing him to jump, and sending Pikachu tumbling to the ground.  
"Pika! Pikapika chu!!"  
"Oh, I'm sorry Pikachu. Here, why don't you come over here and I'll carry you?" Misty offered.  
Pikachu glared at her, before racing back up to Ash's shoulder. "One of these days, I'm going to start shocking them again." he thought to himself. It made sure though that it gripped Ash's shoulder tighter this time. Perhaps a bit more tightly than he needed to.  
"Ow! Pikachu!  
"Pikapi pika."  
"Grr." Ash turned back to Misty. "Yeah, I guess they do. Still, wouldn't you rather sleep on a nice soft bed than those horrible ones we were forced to sleep on last night?"  
Pikachu rolled its eyes. He'd gotten used to being ignored occasionally. These days, Ash's mind wasn't always on Pokémon training. Instead, it was always on Misty.  
"Well, yeah, but who was doing any sleeping last night?"  
Ash's cry of "MISTY!" reverberates throughout the hallway. Misty just giggles. Pikachu just shakes its head and lets out a small "pika.". He loved the fact that they had finally got together, but their antics sometimes really got on his nerves.  
"You're so easy to tease."  
"Excuse me?"  
Ash and Misty both let out simultaneous cries of "Waa!" at the unexpected interruption. The door of the apartment was now open, with a young lady standing there.  
"Can I help you?"  
Ash stutters out a reply. "Oh, um, sorry miss. We must have got the wrong apartment or something. I could have sworn this was the third flo.."  
Either that or Brock's fortunes have seriously changed Ash thinks to himself. The girls sudden loud cry of "Ash?!?" however, interrupts him from making further excuse. Taking a closer look, Ash & Misty suddenly burst out with an equally loud "DUPLICA?!?", and Pikachu with his own "PIKA?!?"  
Both of the two groups stood still for a moment and Ash & Misty took this time to get a better look at her, as she no doubt did with them. It was obvious now that this lady was indeed their old friend Duplica. Just as they remembered her. Well, there were some differences. She was older for a start, and she was wearing her hair longer, and, oh yes, she was wearing a nightgown. A loose one at that. One that didn't leave much too the imagination. Ash would be having a nosebleed by now if he hadn't already seen Misty in more revealing situations. Duplica's Ditto was still there as well, blobbing around near her feet. Suddenly, a familiar voice call out in the background.  
"Who is it love?"  
You've GOT to be kidding Ash, Misty and Pikachu all thought simultaneously. It couldn't possibly be..... Not with..... Surely she had more taste than....  
A guy walks to the door from inside the apartment, talking to Duplica.  
"What's wrong honey? Who is i........... ASH?!  
MISTY!?! PIKACHU!?! What're you doing here!?!"  
Ash, Misty and Pikachu all, quite understandably, took this perfect opportunity, to faint. The idea of Brock actually GETTING the girl for once (And from the look of things getting her between the sheets as well.) was far too much for their minds to handle. Duplica let out a loud sigh.  
"Brock, why does this happen EVERYTIME someone who knows you sees us together?"  
Brock blushes and gets a guilty look on his face.  
"Ah, um, ah, I couldn't imagine why darling !"  
Duplica simply shakes her head and rolls her eyes. Ditto, not really having a head to shake, just rolls its eyes.  
"Yeah, I'm sure you can't."  
"Ditto!"  
"Heh heh heh."  
"Well what's up with those two anyway? You never told me they were an item."  
"They aren't, or at least, they weren't when I last saw them. I guess they finally admitted their feelings for each other."  
Duplica gets an amorous look and a mischievous smile on her face.  
"Like us."  
General scenes of a lovey-dovey nature between Brock & Duplica follow, as Ditto, who is getting thoroughly sick of being ignored by its trainer, goes over to the kitchen to grab a bite, knowing that Brock and Duplica will be quite awhile. I'll spare you all the horror of Brock actually having a romance. One wonders what he must have done to get the girl, before quickly deciding that one may be better off not knowing. We skip to later that night, after Brock & Duplica have remembered that they have guests, and have used smelling salts (Which, due to this happening so often, they have an abundance of.) to wake Ash, Misty and Pikachu up.  
  
"Hey Ash? You okay dude?"  
"Ugh. Yeah, I think so. I just had this weird dream. I thought that you and Dup....."  
Ash sees Duplica, and promptly faints again.  
"Dang. That's the third time he's fainted." Brock observes.  
Duplica shrugs and says "I guess the shock was simply too much for him."  
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!"  
"Oh come on Brock." says Misty. "We all know how you used to be."  
Pikachu nods its head. "Pika."  
"She's right Brock. I wouldn't believe it myself if I didn't know it first hand."  
Brock just glares at her. "Grrrr."  
Duplica ignores him. "Why don't we just let Ash sleep off the shock?" she suggests.  
Misty doesn't seem too keen on the idea. "Well......"  
"It's not as if the smelling salts are working anyway."  
Misty lets out a sigh. "I guess you're right."  
"Come on, we can all talk about what's happened since we last saw each other while we're waiting for Ash to wake up.  
"Yeah. I'd like to know how you and Ash got together."  
"Well, you see.........  
  
The night is passed by them all reminiscing and discussing what had happened to them since they had all last met. Even by the time they were tired enough to stop and go to bed, Ash had not yet woken up, so they all helped and dragged him to the guest bedroom.  
  
The next morning.......  
Ash yawned and stretched out. Boy, THAT was a weird dream. As he opens his eyes and wipes the sleep out of them, he sees an already dressed Misty standing above him.  
"Ugh. Morning Mist. I just had the strangest dream."  
"It wasn't a dream Ash. Brock really did get together with Duplica."  
Ash's eyes glaze over and he starts to fall back onto the lounge.  
"Oh no you don't! You aren't fainting on me again."  
Misty slaps Ash once in the face and gets no response. Seeing that that tactic won't work, she hits him once more, this time in the place where the sun doesn't shine. Hard. Now THAT woke him up. In the kitchen, the sound of the slap and Ash's subsequent scream starts making Brock reminisce about all the times he was rejected. Back in the lounge room, Ash has come to his senses. Well, almost.  
"OWWWW!!!! WHAT?!? You're kidding, right? Brock couldn't have..."  
"Could have and more it seems."  
"More? What do you mean more?"  
Misty raises her eyebrows. A look of understanding washes over Ash's face.  
"OH. THAT more. Okayyyyyyy. Um, are you SURE it wasn't a dream. If fact, are you sure you're alright? I mean, Brock & DUPLICA? If they did get together, where've they gone?"  
"Yes Ash. I'm certain. Brock & Duplica have gotten together. As for where they are, look behind you."  
He follows her instructions, and looks over his shoulder to see Brock & Duplica walking closer, arm in arm.  
"I know it might be a bit hard to believe Ash, but it's the truth." explained Duplica.  
"You two could have waited outside until I was finished explaining everything to Ash to know."  
Duplica shrugs. "Well it's not like we've done any harm. See, he hasn't fainted yet."  
"What I'd like to know is WHY is it so hard to believe that I might get the girl?!?"  
Misty giggles. "I think you just answered your own question there Brock."  
"HEY!"  
  
The day passed with no real incident. Brock, Duplica and Ditto showed Ash, Misty and Pikachu around Pewter, showing them the changes since they were last there. It started raining halfway through the day though, so they had to return to Brock & Duplica's apartment before they had planned, before they had the chance to go most of the places they had wanted to.  
  
And so, with nothing else to do for the day, the two couples exchanged pleasantries and their Pokémon, talking about what had happened since they had last seen each other and so forth, all steering well clear of one certain topic until a time much later that night, after Brock & Duplica had the chance to get a bit tipsy off what little wine they had. (And I mean HAD. They finished all the bottled.) Alright, maybe Brock was more than just a little tipsy. Ash & Misty have both become more than a little uneasy of them, as they start to become more and more effected by the drink. Both of them wonder if this is how Brock managed to get Duplica between the sheets in the first place.  
  
"Well, *hic*, oh, 'scuse me. What I really want to know, is how you two *hic* got together ! I mean, what happened? Did he ask you out, or was 'id you who fff..fess up to him Misty?"  
(Hmmm, not quite the topic you were expecting, was it? ;) )  
Duplica's voice is rather slurred from being so Tipsy.  
"Ah, something like that."  
"Ah. I fhought so. So what'dya two do?"  
"Um, well..." stammers Misty in reply.  
Brock interrupts before Misty can finish. "Hey, wait a second.  
Somethinks not light here. Exactly WHEN did you two start going out? You weren't doin' anythan behind my back while we we're stil in Johto, were you?"  
"Of course we weren't." denies Ash.  
"Than when could you two possibly get together? I mean, I don't know what's happened to you two since tog, tego, toge, ah geez, ya know, thhat egg thing, went weeeeeeeeeeeee plop." Brock makes suitable hand gestures to go with his sound effects. Misty face contorts into an unreadable look, while Ash's boils up in anger.  
(Now THAT's more like the topic you were expecting, wasn't it. Geez, Brock can be an arsehole sometimes, can't he? ;) )  
"Brock!" yells Ash, as Misty runs out of the room with tears streaming down her face.  
"Woahhhh. Wa'hs 'ith 'er?" comes back the slurred reply.  
"Now look what you've gone and done Brock. You've gone and made Misty cry. And people call me an insensitive jerk."  
Ash storms out of the room towards where Misty fled to. In the dining room, Brock & Duplica could hear Ash comforting Misty. Or at least they would be able to hear them if they weren't engrossed in other alcohol induced activities. I don't think I need to explain to most of you on what those are. Let's just say you'll find a full description in part 20.  
(Tentatively titled "Lemon Tree very pretty and the Lemon flower is sweet. But the fruit of the poor lemon tree is impossible to eat." BTW. I think you all understand now. (And yes, for you people who know where that line comes from, that IS a hint of what is to come. HEH HEH HEH.))  
  
The next morning.....  
Ash & Misty are standing at the front door with their bags, facing Brock & Duplica. Pikachu is on Ash's shoulder, while Ditto lounges at Duplica's feet.  
"We're leaving." announces Ash.  
"So soon?" Duplica asks. "But you only just arrived two days ago. We haven't had the chance to show you around Pewter properly yet. You haven't seen Brock's brothers and sisters. You..."  
Ash shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but after last night, I think it might be better if we just left."  
Brock nods. "Yeah, I can guess how you probably felt."  
Ash glares at him. "You have no idea."  
And with that, Ash & Misty walked down the hall with her in his arms and leaning into his shoulder. Neither of them spoke until they had entered the elevator to go down to the lobby and the doors had shut, despite the calls from Brock & Duplica.  
  
Duplica turns to Brock. "Do you have any idea what happened last night?"  
"Only the obvious. We got ourselves drunk again."  
"Well, yeah, but there must have something else that we did. I mean, they looked really upset."  
"Don't ask me to think right now, alright? I've got the mother of all hangovers."  
"Same here. I guess we'd better phone them later and apologise."  
  
"I can't believe Brock & Duplica would do something like that, let along Brock say something like that. You would have thought he would have realised how sensitive you are about that, even if he was drunk. It's not the kind of thing you forget."  
Misty just stands silently in her corner of the elevator.  
"Mist? You okay Mist?"  
"I..I'll be okay. It's just that, what he said brought up some....some painful memories."  
Neither of them spoke again as they began the long drive home.  



	5. Part 4: What she needs

Love is such bitter sorrow "What she needs."  
  
Part 3 of the 5 part mini-series "There for you."  
  
Part 4 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."  
  
NB If you have not yet read the first three parts of "Love is such bitter sorrow", go read them now. Unlike parts 1, 7 & 17, this cannot be read as a standalone, at least, not without missing out on necessary backstory.  
  
She was crying. Understandable enough, given the circumstances. This was the first time she had returned to his grave since the funeral. It was an emotional moment for them both, but especially for her. She had never been as close to anyone as she had been to Togepi, with only the possible exception of himself.  
  
Ash sighed. This was going to be a long day. He had taken a few moments to pay his respects to the dearly departed Pokémon, laying a small wreath at his grave, but that was several hours ago at this point, and he couldn't help be feel like he wasn't doing enough with Misty's continued mourning.  
  
Making a decision, he moved forward and squatted down next to Misty, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close so that she could cry in his. This she most certainly did, leaving Ash's shoulder increasingly damp. Agonising moments later, he spoke.  
  
"Misty, I know this is a tough time for you returning here. There's nothing I can really say or do that's going to make anything better, and I hate the feeling of helplessness that goes with it. Yet sometimes Misty we just have to move on. It's been three years now. You need to let go."  
  
Misty's crying slowly diminishes to an almost inaudible sobbing sound, as she leans further into Ash's shoulder, grasping the front of his shirt in an iron grip. Reflexively, Ash puts his arms around her and cradles her head.  
  
"I haven't forgotten."  
  
Misty's sobbing continues for a few seconds, then stops completely as she raises her head, staring at Ash's eyes.  
  
"Misty, I said that I'd always be there for you, and I haven't forgotten that promise. No matter how long it takes, I'm going to help you through this, and I'll still be there for you once it's all over."  
  
A faint smile creases Misty's lips and she leans back into Ash's shoulder, rocking slightly. Her grip on his shirt loosens, and that arm slowly starts to encircle Ash around the front, even as her other encircles him around his back. Ash's grip on the other hand becomes tighter, and Misty is pressed tightly into his comforting and protective embrace.  
  
".......Thank you Ash......."  
".......I just love you too much to bear seeing you hurt like this Misty......."  
  
His words brought memories to the surface of Misty's mind. Memories of their first night together, and of the night immediately after. He had said something to her then very much like what he had just said now. Just as it had then, Ash's words seemed to strike a chord in Misty, one that she was overjoyed to have struck again. The expression in her eyes lost a small measure of the emptiness within that had plagued them for so long, and a smile of contentment and happiness made itself evident on her face. Settled down to lay against Ash's chest she closed her eyes and took in a deep long breath. The look of happiness, so rarely seen on her face and something that Ash had not seen in a long time, though not for lack of trying.  
  
Taking her arms from around Ash, and her head off his shoulder, Misty turned to the grave. Reaching into her jacket, she pulled out a single white rose, now slightly crushed from Ash's embrace. With reverent care, Misty placed it on top of the tombstone itself, before standing up, stepping back and taking another deep breath, allowing Ash a convenient out to release the breath he did not realise he was holding. Standing up and moving towards her, he put his arm on her shoulder. Turning her body around, though not her head, Misty took one final look at Togepi's resting place before walking off down the hill, one of Ash's arms around her shoulder, and the other firmly clasping her hand. Her grip tightens around his for a moment, then she looks up to find he is already staring right back her, a look of happiness, happiness for her, clearly obvious. She realised then what it was she had been searching for all this time. What once filled the gap inside herself left by Togepi's death. Love, and to be loved. Safe in the knowledge of this, Misty knew now that it was well past time for her to accept the cruel blow fate had dealt her, and to move on. The emptiness inside her was gone.  



	6. Part 5: She's WHAT!?!

Love is such bitter sorrow 

"She's WHAT!?!"  
(Yes, that IS a reference to all the other "She's WHAT!?!" fics that  
have been created. Only 1 Pokémon one to my knowledge, and that was  
in 1999, so I shouldn't be stepping on anyone's shoes.)  
  
Part 4 of the 5 part mini-series "There for you."  
  
Part 5 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow." 

NB If you have not yet read the first three parts of "Love is such bitter sorrow", go read them now. Unlike parts 1, 7 & 17, this cannot be read as a standalone, at least, not without missing out on necessary backstory.  
  
"She's WHAT!?!"  
This incredible scream, for once and in complete defiance and lack of regard for all tradition regarding this and similar lines, did not come from someone's mother, nor was it about someone being pregnant off their boyfriend (And in that one case of which I am aware, girlfriend, but let's not go into that.). Instead, it came from Ash, in reply to the incredible news just related to him by Misty, as they lounged together in their Viridian City apartment.  
"My mum's getting engaged!?! You're kidding!" Ash yelled, flabbergasted by the news. With the volume of his yells, it stands as something of an amazement that Pikachu or any of the other Pokémon were not roused from their respective sleeps.  
"Not getting engaged Ash. IS engaged. He popped the question this afternoon." said Misty, already exasperated in anticipation of a long discussion.  
"To who? How? WHY?" cried Ash,  
"The who would be Professor Oak. As for the how and why, I'd assume in the usual way and for the usual reasons."  
"But, Professor Oak?" he said, searching in his head for some sort of reason this couldn't be true.  
"She loves him Ash. Haven't you seen it whenever he's over at your house for one of his little 'visits'? I'd imagine they do a lot more than just visit when we're not around."  
"But...Professor Oak!" he reiterated.  
Misty could only sigh as Ash collapsed back on their couch, completely overcome by the unexpected, for him anyway, turn of events.  
"Ash.....do you mean you seriously never saw it?"  
"I thought he was just a good friend. Just a good friend. I..." babbled Ash, completely confused.  
"I know it's going to take a little getting used to for you Ash, but look on the bright side. At least you'll all be one big happy family  
again."  
"Yeah...I guess...wait, what do you mean AGAIN?"  
Misty's eyes all but bugged out.  
"Exactly what it sounds like. Your mother and father will be a married couple again. Aren't you excited?"  
"But Professor Oak isn't my father...is he?"  
The confused look on Ash's face was priceless, and Misty wished she had a camera of some sort with her to capture the occasion.  
"Didn't she ever tell you?"  
"You mean..."  
Misty shook her head and smiled as she again sighed, unable to contain her amusement at Ash's obvious cluelessness of the situation. That over, she sat down next to Ash and put her arm around him, laying her head on his shoulder.  
"I'm sorry Ash. I thought you knew. We all found out years ago. I would have thought your mother or father would have told you everything by now. I guess they'll tell you themselves soon enough."  
"I guess..."  
  
Meanwhile, in Pallet Town, Deliah Ketchum and Samuael Oak were now well into celebrating their engagement in what one would assume is the traditional way. This isn't an X rated work, so I'm afraid we can't detail that celebration for you. To say that it wasn't as calm as that of Ash and Misty in the first part of this mini-series would be such a gross understatement that it would have to be awarded a Guniness World Record.  
  
"She invited us to this big party they're planning to have at Oak's lab next week to celebrate the engagement. We WILL be going, won't we Ash?"  
"Yes....." Ash replied in an almost dismissive tone.  
Misty brought herself back to a sitting position, with a concerned look evident on her face, her brow winkling with worry.  
"Ash.....what's wrong?"  
Ash let himself lean back against the couch and looked towards the ceiling, sighing as he did so.  
"It's just....that things are happening so fast. Everything's changing. I'm just not sure if,.."  
His sentence cut off suddenly with a troubled sigh as he lowered his head, shaking it as if to clear his thoughts.  
"...I don't know. It's nothing. It's just..."  
"Just what Ash?"  
"Just...I wish we could have the old times back. Back when we used to travel all over the country, without a care in the world. Just you and me and Brock and Pikachu and Toge...."  
His sentence stopped suddenly as he felt Misty's hand squeezing his, and saw her head downcast. If he could have seen her eyes, he would have laid odds that they were slowly brimming with still unspent tears.  
"Please Ash. Don't. You know as well as I do that those times ended long ago."  
"I'm sorry."  
  
They sat there in silence for a long time, just holding each other close as they each drifted off into thinking about their lives. Inevitably, those thoughts soon turned to the events of the past few years. Misty's eyes we held tightly shut as her mind wandered and her thoughts drifted to Togepi. Knowing that it was well past time for her to accept the cruel blow fate had dealt was not the same as being able to do that. Silent tears slowly formed and streamed in tiny rivers down Misty's cheeks, creating a small stain on Ash's shirt.  
  
The stain went unnoticed. Ash was consumed by thoughts of his own. Thoughts he hadn't yet got over, as foolish as they may have seemed to a hypothetical observer such as yourselves. They were thoughts of self loathing and disgust. Almost daily such thoughts had crept into his mind over the past years. No matter what had happened between them since, how they had grown closer together and how their romance had blossomed, Ash still felt like he was taking advantage of Misty and her feelings. If it had been Brock who had been taking care of her, would he be in Ash's place today? Would their relationship have happened if Togepi hadn't passed away? And what about.....that. Thoughts like these churned over and over in his confused mind. Together with them now were thoughts of insecurity. How could he possibly have missed it? How could he not have seen what his mother and the professor had together and for each other when everyone else did. He saw it now, yes, but if he hadn't been told would he have managed to figure it out on his own? Together, these were thoughts sobering enough that even Brock (Currently occupied shacking up with Duplica) would be thrust out of drunkenness by them.  
  
A slight breath on his arm broke him out of his meditation. Slightly restless in his arms, Misty was speaking in her sleep, her words too soft to be heard or understood. What betrayed her dreams was the tears, still continuing to soak her companions shirt. Her hands were tightly clenched, huddled close to her chest, and she shivered slightly, though not from any obvious cold. Not wishing to disturb her rest, however dubious a rest it might be, Ash slowly and carefully extricated himself from her, allowing her to lie down properly on the couch. Withdrawing a blanket from the nearby closet, he placed it over her carefully, before sitting down on the couch beside her prone form. Reaching out, he let his hand caress her hair softly and looked over her with loving eyes. For better or for worse now, they were tied together forever. Ash only hoped that was a good thing. With a final sigh as he raised his gaze to the moon, visible only as fractured beams of light through the partially opaque glass, before standing up and moving over to the nearby desk. With a quick look over his shoulder to make sure Misty was still asleep, he slowly drew the bottom of the two drawers out, and sifted to the bottom of it through piles of papers and other items designed to keep someone from seeing what they hid. A small velvet box. Ash opens it, to reveal a magnificent, diamond ring. It might have been a trifle small in comparison to the others he had been looking at, but this one just seemed all the more appropriate. It had been a gift from his mother, long ago. His grandmothers engagement ring. With the box still open, Ash slowly turned, and started to move back to the couch. Within a step, as Misty stirred in her sleep, he had turned back, closing the box and replacing it in its hiding place. He wasn't ready yet, and neither was she....they needed to have a talk.  
  
Misty awoke with the early morning light streaming in through the windows, illuminating the room in a soft orange glow. Feeling a soft touch upon her hair, she turned her still groggy head to see Ash's warm face, smiling at her.  
"Morning."  
"Mmmmm. Morning Ash. You're up early." she yawned, stretching her arms out above her head.  
"I didn't sleep.......Misty......we need to talk."  
That tone of voice, a serious tone only seldom used by Ash, brought her out of her sleepiness almost instantly. She now could see Pikachu, standing on his shoulder...with a very sad look on its face.  
"..... About what?" she queried him softly.  
"Misty.....I think it might be best if we......if we took some time apart." said Ash, almost in a whisper  
Misty cried out in alarm. "WHAT!?! Ash, no! You can't! I.."  
"Just until next week." said Ash hurriedly, cutting off the rest of Misty's sentence. "Just until the party. It's not that long away. Less than a week actually. I wouldn't be gone for long, and I'd be back the moment anything goes wrong."  
"But Ash.....why?" sobbed Misty, sniffling.  
"I....I just need some time alone. Some time to think..." he replied, bowing his head to the floor and closing his eyes.  
"Does....does this mean.....does this mean that you don't....don't l"  
"NO!" he yelled, violently cutting off that line of thought and putting Misty on the edge of tears. Composing himself slightly, Ash continued. "No...of course it doesn't mean that. I made a promise, remember? You remember my promise."  
Misty nodded her head, though kept it downcast, so that Ash couldn't see her eyes, from which small tears were already beginning to flow.  
"I'll just be gone a few days. I'll be back. Don't worry."  
Pikachu jumped onto the floor from his shoulder as he enfolded her in his arms, pulling her tightly to him. For her part, Misty managed to keep her tears back for those few seconds.  
"I'm sorry. I'll be back, and that's a promise. You'll see me at the party."  
Misty nodded again, and Ash let go of her slowly.  
"I....I've got to go. I'm sorry about this Misty."  
He stepped back while Misty remained with her eyes downcast, not looking at him in the slightest, before turning and leaving, running, Pikachu in tow, down the stairwell of the apartment block, with tears flowing freely and streaming out behind him.  
"I'm sorry Misty...."  
  
Back in the apartment, Misty slowly brought herself to her feet, and shuffled over to the desk. Hands shaking, she pulled out the bottom drawer, and let its contents spill out on the floor. Going on her hands and knees, she sifted through the assorted junk, looking for something. A small velvet box. It was missing. He'd taken it with him.  
"Ash..."  
Tears now flowed freely from her eyes, falling down onto the papers with loud plops, and providing the only noise in the otherwise silent apartment.  
"Ash.....I thought you loved me.....Ash......was everything you did because you felt how I do, or....or.....oh Ash....."  
Misty collapsed onto the floor, next to the papers, making no attempt whatsoever to get back to her feet. The tears flowed freely, and she curled herself into a ball, hiding in her own sorrow.  
  
5 days later, a mere hour before the party was due to start, the rays of the sunset reflected and sparkled in the diamonds of the ring as Ash held it up to the light, turning it this way and that to get a better look at it. The last week had involved a lot of soul searching, and he only hoped that he hadn't hurt Misty by leaving like he did. He hated it when he hurt her, however intentionally it may have been. His time alone wasn't wasted however, and he had finally come to a decision. He no longer cared if it was the right one or the wrong one to make, but either way, as far as he saw it, it was a necessary decision, and for more than one reason. For more than just the promise. Placing the ring back in its box, Ash stood up, Pikachu at his side doing the same. They smoothed their tuxedos as best they could, and began walking down towards the Oak Laboratory in the valley below that was Pallet Town, bathed in the dying light of the sun.  
"Misty...."  
"Pika-pi...."


	7. Part 7: A nightmare repeated

Love is such bitter sorrow "A nightmare repeated."  
  
Sequel to the 5 part mini-series "There for you."  
  
Part 7 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."  
  
NB If you have not yet read part 6 of "Love is such bitter sorrow, you are missing out on important backstory to this fic. Specifically, the cliffhanger which brings us to the start of this part. This does not necessarily stop you from reading this fic, but you will lose some of the enjoyment you would normally gain from it. If you have not yet read ANY of "Love is such bitter sorrow" than you are REALLY missing out on a lot of important backstory. While this part is one of the few of this series that can be read as a standalone, you will certainly be at a loss to understand the characterisations and references to past events, and there's no way I'm typing up a list of what's happened previously when you could easily read the other parts. (NB to NB. At the current point in time, Part 6 has not yet been written, and Part 5 was only completed today and may not yet be available to you. Please be patient. I'm writing as fast as I can. Part 6 SHOULD be completed a week from today (The 11th of November), but I give no guarentees.  
  
"Oh Ash! Yes, Yes I Will!"  
Ash takes the ring out of its box and places it on her hand, then stands up as Misty enfolds him in her arms and places a firm kiss on his lips. All traces of the Misty who had been for the last five years vanished in that instant, and she was again the carefree, capacious Misty of their youth. Taking a firm hold of her upper body, Ash does a twirl, lifting Misty's feet off the sand to swing freely in the air as he and her spin around. Setting her down, he looks deep into her large blue eyes, now free of the sadness that had filled them for so long and kissed her again firmly on the mouth. Her tongue met his as they lost themselves in each other and closed their eyes. The kiss seemed to last for a eternity, and it was only reluctantly they broke it for air, but it was mere seconds before they begun another, and then another. There was no need for words between them now. Their hands roam over each others bodies as they search for buttons, zippers, fasteners, and as they find them they rid each other of their confining clothing. Slowly, still enmeshed in their kiss, they sink to the sand, caressing each other in places that 5 years ago they would have never dreamed they would each be touching. Their lovemaking is something like out of a Garden of Eden. Not a taking, but a mutual giving, a gift from them to each other, a gift returned in kind. There is no hurry, no haste to their actions. Their caresses are slow and supple, not hard and demanding. Like a baby searching for its mothers teat, Ash makes butterfly kisses over Misty's body, till he comes to her breast and sucks upon the nipple. Her back arching, Misty revels in the pleasures of the moment. Pleasures that five years ago she would never have thought she would never be feeling. Pleasures she had denied herself from feeling, consumed as she was by a grief she could not fully let go of until now. As they both reach their climax and lie together in each others arms on the beach, a contented sigh passes from her lips, and a happy, caring smile comes to her face as she stares at Ash, lying with his head on her chest. Slowly and deliberately, he raises his eyes until they are staring directly into Misty's.  
"Misty. I'd like you to promise me something."  
"Anything."  
"I'm not going to be around forever. Neither of us will be. It may not happen for a long time, but even so..."  
"Ash. Don't speak like that. After what's happened you shouldn't go tempting fa..."  
"No, Misty, please, listen to me." Misty fell silent under Ash's staring eyes. "If I die, I want you to forget about me.."  
"What? No, I couldn't. I.."  
Ash brushed away her protests. "Misty. Please. I couldn't leave you like that again, like you were after Togepi passed on. If I die, you should just accept that and keep on living. Go and find someone else who you could love as much as you love me. Don't give up on life. Promise me Misty."  
Misty sighs. "Ash.."  
"Promise me."  
Misty shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. A small smile  
crept onto her lips. "Only if YOU promise to shut up and kiss me."  
Ash grinned. "Anything."  
"Then I promise. Now where's my kiss?"  
Ash lifts his head to her level and kisses her full force on the lips. It's not long until they resume their earlier activities. Much later that night, after much exertion on both their parts, Misty again stares down as Ash, who has fallen to sleep like a baby on her chest. His face is the last thing she sees before she closes her eyes, puts her head back and languidly drifts off into a contended slumber.  
  
"Well, well, look who it is. The children, and all grown up and adult too."  
Ash and Misty's eyes popped open. Rolling off and out of each others arms and looking up, they found themselves staring into the faces of two people they had hoped to never see again. Butch & Cassidy, standing over them with obvious leers on their faces. They looked almost exactly as they did last time the pair had seen them, as they were being carted off by Officer Jenny after a failed attempt to steal Pokémon that had been foiled by them and Brock. Right down to the Team Rocket uniforms. The only thing missing was their trademark Raticate, and the only additions were the large sacks of Pokéballs slung over their backs......... and the semi automatic pistols at their sides. The fear in Ash and Misty's eyes was readily apparent. They knew all too well what lengths these two would go to, and they did not doubt that they had reason enough to want the both of them dead. They both stood up, not bothering to cover themselves. They are more important things to worry about.  
"It's certainly been a while since we've seen you." continued Cassidy, her mouth twisting in a malevolent grin.  
"It certainly is an unexpected pleasure for us to run into you two." said Butch in his usual gravelly voice. "First we liberate all these Pokéballs and their Pokémon from right under the nose of Professor Oak, and then we meet up with you. Who would have thought we'd have so much luck only one night?"  
Shock and fear mingled and registered on Ash and Misty's faces at this statement. Besides Pikachu, all of Ash's Pokémon were at Professor Oak's while he was doing some research on them. That meant that.....  
"Now perhaps we can pay you back for what you did to us four times over you little pests." Cassidys grin became even wider. Her hand let go of the sack and dropped to her waist, to the holstered pistol that hung there.  
"Pay you back with interest." Butch grinned also and mirrored Cassidy's move, dropping his sack and taking a hold of his pistol. "What have you done to our Pokémon?!"  
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking questions little boy." scoffed Cassidy. "Who's the ones holding the guns here, hmmm? Not to mention all these Pokémon."  
Ash clenches his fist in anger as he realises how truly helpless he is in this situation. Without their Pokémon, he and Misty couldn't do anything to stop these two from doing whatever they wanted. Cassidy raises her pistol and released the catch, drawing a round into the barrel.  
"So, which of you two wants to be first."  
Both Ash and Misty knew that Cassidy was making no idle threat, and this knowledge sent shivers of fear through their spines. Ash moved to put his body between Misty and the guns, however he knew that his action would mean little if Cassidy went through with her threat. Cassidy's aim turned to Ash. "Uh, uh uh. Naughty, naughty. Don't try anything you'll soon regret for the rest of your life, a life which will pass just slowly enough for you properly reflect on what's happened."  
Ash slowed his movements, but kept on his course. Cassidys tracked him with her pistol as he put himself in front of Misty, the right side of his body shielding her left.  
"What do you want from us?"  
"What did I say about asking questions? As for what we want, I should think that's obvious enough, don't you. We're going to kill you."  
With that, Cassidy pulled the trigger on her pistol.  
  
The next few seconds happened in agonising slow motion for Misty, and it was if she was not in control of her body, but a spectator to her own actions. She heard her cry of "NOOOOOOO!" as the run roar, watched how Ash's body shuddered and spasmed as the bullet ripped a bloody path into his upper left torso and tore its way through his body. She watched herself, tears streaming down her cheeks as she caught him in her arms, blood splattering onto her bare breasts and belly from the exit wound. She saw herself as she held his body to her and stared into darkening eyes, heard as a soft "Misty." escaped from Ash's mouth, and watched with horror as he fell limp in her arms, face falling back on a limp neck and eyes closing for a final time. and then it was over, and again she found herself in control over her actions. And she cried with the knowledge that she had lost him, the man she loved, and that there would be no other to comfort her in her loss as Ash had. She cried and fell sobbing over his body in the sand, her tears streaming down his chest, still warm and covered with sweat from their lovemaking earlier that night. Her tears intermingled with his blood, and formed small pools and rivers in the sand, being slowly absorbed or washed into the sea. She closed her eyes, and one thought formed in hear head. She would be with him again soon. She raised her head, no longer sobbing but still with tears running freely down her cheeks, and prepared herself to receive the bullet. Cassidy raised the hand holding the gun and started pulling on the trigger, and suddenly released it as she found Butch's hand pushing hers down.  
"No. Let's not kill her. We'll have our revenge better by letting her live and suffer."  
"But what if she reports us to the police?"  
"So what if she does? We're criminals already anyway. We're members of Team Rocket. We've done things that would have got us life if we hadn't escaped anyway. Leaving this whore alive won't change anything."  
Cassidy's eyes lit up malevolently at the truth she heard in Butch's words and she holstered her weapon, moving to pick up her sack and motioning Butch to do the same.  
"Alright. We'll let the girl live then. No point in wasting the bullet on her anyway. She's not worth the expense."  
  
Misty couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were going to spare her? That meant, she wasn't going to die! This news brought no joy to her heart however, as she also knew that it would mean she was going to live. But without Ash, did she even want to live? She collapsed on her knees and sunk to the ground in front of Ash as the two members of Team Rocket walked off, but she was beyond noticing. Her face sunk into her hands and she started sobbing again. They had truly accomplished their revenge by letting her live, leaving her to again endure the agony of loss. The Misty of before the events of five years ago faded into the void once again, replaced by the Misty of five years ago, full of sadness and grief. How could this happen to her again. Why did Ash have to tempt fate with his talk about death earlier in the night. Why. Why. Why. Ash's words from earlier went round and round in her head. "I love you Misty... I've always loved you... will you marry me... promise me something... forget about me... keep on living... promise me...promise me...Misty..." She realised now what that promise would mean. Ash had not meant it as some sort of joke, he was being serious, even if Misty hadn't been. She didn't think anything like this could possibly happen to them at the time. But now she knew better, and she had no idea how she could keep this promise. She wanted nothing more than to join Ash in death, join him in whatever afterlife there may be, or if there was none vanish into the void of nothingness and so be free from all her pains and sorrows, now returned in full force without the comforting presence of Ash with her.  
  
  
"Recapping this mornings top story, Ash Ketchum, the young prodigal Pokémon trainer from Pallet Town, was murdered early this morning. Police have released to the media very little in the way of details, however we have been led to believe that his assailants may have been the same duo responsible for the thefts committed at the Oak Pokémon Labs last night. The one eyewitness to the events, Misty Waterflower, as seen here in our file tape cheering on Ash at his Indigo League victory earlier this year, has been retained by the police for questioning, however we have been told that she has not been charged and is not currently under suspicion for the deed. More information as it breaks."  
  
The sound of shattering glass on tiles reverberates through the room, along with the sound of a person dropping to the floor.  
"Mime?"  
  
"In other news, The Squirtle Squad have successfully defended their...."  
  
"Ash..."  
"Mime?"  
Deliah Ketchum was on her hands and knees, with Mr. Mime hovering over her with a worried look on its face, its trademark broom lying forgotten on the floor.  
"My little boy..."  
"Mime?"  
  
  
"Recapping the top story of the day, Ash Ketchum, the world famous young prodigal Trainer from sleepy Pallet Town was found murdered earlier this morning. In a public press conference organised by the police, Ash's mother Deliah Ketchum, along with her husband, the renowned Professor Samual Oak, offered a reward for information leading to the capture and conviction of Ash's killer. Misty Waterflower, the only eyewitness to the murder, has been under heavy police guard all day, with demonstrators accusing her of the deed following her every step. While Misty made an appearance at the earlier press conference, she did not speak, instead letting her tears do that for her. One item of particular note is the small diamond ring Misty was seen to be wearing. The significance of this ring is uncertain, however persons close to Ash have revealed that the two were very close. We'll keep you posted on developments in this case. And now, here's sport with..."  
  
"I still can't believe what's happened."  
"I know Brock. I know. Gods, I can't bear to think what Misty must be going through with this."  
"I just hope that she'll be alright. After what happened with Togepi.........and now this......."  
Unconsciously, Brock hugged Duplica closer to him, as she unconsciously did the same, before changing to another channel for some more news, any news, on what had happened.  
  
  
"I know she did it. She must have done it. There's no one else who could..."  
"Now Deliah, you know Misty isn't the kind of person to do something like that. You know how close the two..."  
"But who else could it have been !? There wasn't anyone else there !? No one else even knew they were...."  
"Deliah."  
She raised her tearful eyes to her husbands, moved by the tone of his voice.  
"The police haven't been telling any of us what happened yet. We have no idea who or what may have been there or happened. Don't worry, once they know we'll be the first to find out. You know that.  
"No, I don't......"  



	8. Part 7b: A nightmare ending

Love is such bitter sorrow "A nightmare ending."  
  
Part 1 of the 10 part mini-series "Moonlight through a stained glass mind."  
  
Part 7b of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow."  
  
"Recapping this mornings top story, Ash Ketchum, the young prodigal Pokémon trainer from Pallet Town, was murdered early this morning. Police have released to the media very little in the way of details, however we have been led to believe that his assailants may have been the same duo responsible for the thefts committed at the Oak Pokémon Labs last night. The one eyewitness to the events, Misty Waterflower, as seen here in our file tape cheering on Ash at his Indigo League victory earlier this year, has been retained by the police for questioning, however we have been told that she has not been charged and is not currently under suspicion for the deed. More information as it breaks."  
  
The sound of shattering glass on tiles reverberates through the room, along with the sound of a person dropping to the floor.  
"Mime?"  
  
"In other news, The Squirtle Squad have successfully defended their...."  
  
"Ash..."  
"Mime?"  
Deliah Ketchum was on her hands and knees, with Mr. Mime hovering over her with a worried look on its face, its trademark broom lying forgotten on the floor.  
"My little boy..."  
"Mime?"  
  
  
"Recapping the top story of the day, Ash Ketchum, the world famous young prodigal Trainer from sleepy Pallet Town was found murdered earlier this morning. In a public press conference organised by the police, Ash's mother Deliah Ketchum, along with her husband, the renowned Professor Samual Oak, offered a reward for information leading to the capture and conviction of Ash's killer. Misty Waterflower, the only eyewitness to the murder, has been under heavy police guard all day, with demonstrators accusing her of the deed following her every step. While Misty made an appearance at the earlier press conference, she did not speak, instead letting her tears do that for her. One item of particular note is the small diamond ring Misty was seen to be wearing. The significance of this ring is uncertain, however persons close to Ash have revealed that the two were very close. We'll keep you posted on developments in this case. And now, here's sport with..."  
  
"I still can't believe what's happened."  
"I know Brock. I know. Gods, I can't bear to think what Misty must be going through with this."  
"I just hope that she'll be alright. After what happened with Togepi.........and now this......."  
Unconsciously, Brock hugged Duplica closer to him, as she unconsciously did the same, before changing to another channel for some more news, any news, on what had happened.  
  
  
"I know she did it. She must have done it. There's no one else who could..."  
"Now Deliah, you know Misty isn't the kind of person to do something like that. You know how close the two..."  
"But who else could it have been !? There wasn't anyone else there !? No one else even knew they were...."  
"Deliah."  
She raised her tearful eyes to her husbands, moved by the tone of his voice.  
"The police haven't been telling any of us what happened yet. We have no idea who or what may have been there or happened. Don't worry, once they know we'll be the first to find out. You know that.  
"No, I don't......"  



	9. Part 17: For without you my life is with...

Love is such bitter sorrow "For without you my life is without meaning."  
  
Part 17 of 20 of the ongoing saga "Love is such bitter sorrow"  
  
Slowly, two figures, both clad in black, approached the small hill, its snow covered surface being decorated with only a small oak tree, bare from the winter chill, below which three carved stone tablets stood, two smaller ones flanking a larger one. They stopped a short moment, then the smaller of the two started walking up, leaving the larger alone at the hill's foot. As this figure approached the tablets, the writing on the smallest two became readable. The head of  
the figure swings to both.  
Pikachu  
19??-2006  
True Companion. Loyal Friend and Protector. Died of a Broken Heart.  
  
Togepi  
1997-2001  
Your stay among us was but short. Your time came before it was meant.  
  
Looking back to the centre tablet, the figure raised its hood to reveal a woman, her face framed by orange hair falling down to her shoulders. Slowly, her gloved hands draw a rose from within her cloak. With utmost care, she kneels down and places it before the final tombstone. Her face rises and the writing upon it becomes clear.  
Ash Ketchum  
1983-2006  
Your realisation came, but the time we had together was cut painfully short. If only you had known.  
  
"Ash..................."  
She struggles to hold back the tears, but is unsuccessful. She bows her head. It is almost 10 minutes before her crying subsides into sobbing, and another 5 before that too stops.  
"Ash.........I...........you.....you said.......th......that you wanted me to....to.....that after you were gone to.....to.....try and keep....keep living....... To try..........to try and find someone.......someone else who could.......that I could........could..........."  
Again, she collapses sobbing. Tears run freely down her face.  
"Ash.........why did you have to leave us...........leave me."  
Slowly, the raises her head.  
"I tried Ash. I tried to keep on living. I tried to forget you and move on." Her eyes close. "I couldn't. I could never forget you. You haunt my dreams. I keep seeing you die in my arms, over and over again. I can't live like this Ash. I need you. I need to be with you.......Ash........"  
A gloved hand came down to rest on her shoulder. She hadn't even heard him as he had approached.  
"Are you sure you want to go through with this Misty?"  
With one final sob, she nodded her assent.  
"Alright then."  
With silent grace, she stood and turned to face him. His hand reached into his coat. Slowly, he pulled out the small handgun, then the silencer. With deliberate slowness, as if to give her time to back out, he screwed the silencer on, then raised the gun to her head.  
"No. Here." Her right hand pointed to her heart. It was a symbolic gesture. The same place where Ash had been shot. His aim moved to her heart. His hand wavered.  
"Goodbye Misty."  
He turned his face, not wishing to see what he was being asked to do. As his finger slowly pulled the trigger, he heard her voice for the final time.  
"Goodbye Brock. Thank you."  
Then there was only silence. With his tear filled eyes downcast, he placed the revolver in her gloved hand, the diamond ring on her middle finger glinting against the snow covered ground. As he turned away, walking down the hill, moving quickly lest someone had seen what had happened, his thoughts drifted to his own family, his wife and two daughters. Ash and Misty had deserved as much. But now it could never be. With a tear rolling down his cheek, he began the long  
walk home. 


End file.
